Day 8 - a photo that makes you angry/sad.
It was a gorgeous, unseasonably nice
day. It was Monday October 5th and Molly had just arrived home from
school and the boys were playing soccer in the front yard and I felt the
need to “suck it up” and get outside with my family. I had delivered
Claire 4 days previous and outside smiling was not at all where I wanted
to be but felt that I was needed. I needed to continue to be a mom to
my living kids and to be a wife to my husband. I felt like I had to keep
some semblance of a “normal” family up. The neighbours were arriving
home from work, everyone was in a fabulous mood all around us. No one
knew what we had just gone through.
I see this picture and I feel guilty. I
feel guilty for having been caught smiling at something... anything (no
doubt some wise crack from Andrew!). How could I have been smiling? I
was no longer pregnant! We just had a dead baby! And yet, here is it.
