Friday, March 14, 2014


An American Girl doll commercial just came on tv and it got me 
All. Choked. Up. 

Flashback to September long weekend 2009...

I went to NYC with my 2 besties and while there we went on a whirlwind 3 day tour 
which included a trip to the American Girl Place in Manhattan. 

I remember walking through the store in absolute awe! 
1) Choose a doll.
2) Pick out an outfit for the doll and one that matches for your little girl.
 3) Go to the salon to have your doll's hair done!
4) Daughter/doll photoshoot time!
 5) Then top off the day with a trip to the AGP cafĂ©!
(Of course it wouldn't all have to be done in one day but... When in New York!)

I was *so* hoping that I was pregnant with a girl. 
I fell completely in love with the store and all of it's magical little girl beauty! 
I was so hoping I could go back with her someday.

I still feel those feelings. 
That awe.
That giddiness.
That longing for my girl.

Today the commercial came on and Lucy stopped in her tracks watching intently and then immediately began repeating, "I want that girl! I want that one on tv!"

I'm glad I have a little Rainbow girl to one day share that experience with.

Lucy's doll will have blond hair and blue eyes.

I still wonder what Claire's doll would have looked like....

Monday, March 10, 2014

This is not the way...

Today, March 10th, marks Claire's due date. 
I should be planning a 4th birthday party. 
Instead I am consumed by what I am going to do in October 
to make it an extra special 5th birthday memorial celebration.

This year is weighing heavily on my heart.
This is not the way a parent should ever have to parent.

How has it been 4 years?
How will her 5th birthday be later this year?
How is it that the math is so backwards?

a WHOLE lot of lovin'...

October 1, 2012 - September 30, 2013
544 winks

What an outstanding display of love!

We cannot express enough how much it means to us that you have taken a moment out of your day to think of us, to take out your camera and snap a pic, and then send it our way.

We are thankful beyond words!
And now for playing catch up...

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