Thursday, January 14, 2010

All worked up...

All day I had been anxious.

I had a dental hygiene appointment this evening... but contrary to what you may be thinking, it wasn’t that I was afraid of going to get my teeth cleaned that had me all worked up...

I was anxious because the last time I got my teeth cleaned Andrew and I had just found out we were pregnant.

Rewind 6 months...
I never know how much information a dental hygienist needs to know when they ask about changes in your medical history so it was something I had a split second struggle about. Do I tell her? Will it make a difference to what will happen today? I doubt it but... that mixed with my excitement made me blurt out that I was pregnant! I told her that she was literally the first person who knew. That our parents didn’t even know! And it felt so good to let the cat out of the bag!!

Fast forward to today...
All day I obsessed about how I would respond to her asking me about changes in my medical history. Would she look at my chart and realize that I was pregnant when I was last in? I am obviously not visibly pregnant however she may think that I had already had my baby? What if she asks the when, boy/girl, name questions that I dread?

My rehearsed response in case of “those” questions was, “Oh, we had the baby but she was born too soon.” Even that seemed wrong and a bit inappropriate for me to tell her but medically speaking that is what happened. I just didn’t want to create any discomfort.

Then she asked,
“Any changes in your medical history?”

And I said,
“I am not pregnant anymore.”
And then let out a nervous giggle to hide my disappointment and to suck back the tears.

Then I wondered what she thinking.
Because I am like that.

Did she think I had the baby but didn’t feel it was her place to ask personal questions? Did she assume I had the baby but s/he was home with daddy and the rest of the family? Did she assume I lost the baby but thought that is was no big deal to me because I shrugged it off with a giggle?


Did she just want to get on with cleaning my teeth so that she could get home?

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