These past few days have been rough and I am getting more anxious
for Claire’s due date however I feel a good change coming on. I think
once the date passes I will be able to let go a little... my own baby
steps!
I know it is
time to put more energy into my family that is here with me and less on
Claire who is not. Not to say that I am over her or necessarily ready to
move on from her but I need to stop obsessing so much about the what
ifs, the what should bes and the what could have beens and move on to
what really is.
I spend way too
much time on the computer or with my head in the clouds and not enough
time in my real day to day life. It is time to start living again. For
real.
I know it will not be easy.
I know I will continue to have down times/days.
I know that I do not like being so unhappy.
I want to be more present for my husband and children as they deserve more from me.
I am looking
forward to finding a healthy balance between living in the now and
reminiscing about the past. My baby girl will always be in my heart and
on my mind, right where I want her to be, however I will work hard to
fill my mind with all of the other wonderful people and things I have in
my life, after all, sharing is caring!! I am grateful and thankful for
all that I have and it is time to start showing that appreciation, once
again, to those closest to me.
