My
mother-in-law sent the following excerpt from the book above as she
thought of Andrew and I when she read it. It is an interesting angle to
take after having lost a child. If it was that easy, that cut and dry,
it would be absolutely perfect!!... however it is what it is and it
makes good sense. Grief takes a different road for everyone and some
need more time than others but read the following and take from it what
you will...
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What’s your handicap?” the golfer asked his partner. “My childhood,” said his companion.
Some handicaps are physical, certain
limitations placed on our bodies. Other handicaps are emotional, burdens
of heartache from sad or abusive childhoods. Others may be dealing with
current issues - perhaps facing a terminal illness or grieving an
irreparable loss.
After losing my son, I found myself at
a point where I simply could no longer stand the agony of waiting for
my pain to disappear. I knew that all my life I would miss him, and I
became absolutely despondent. There is no way out of this, I thought. I’m
spending my life waiting for this pain to disappear so I can begin
living my life again. But the pain will never disappear,. And I’ll never
begin living my life again. That’s when a gentle idea began to change my life.
I began to understand that I was
living and working with a handicap. The loss would always be there. The
pain and heartache would always be present. I could accept that, treat
it as a handicap, and within that framework go ahead and live my life
once more. The moment I made that decision, my attitude and perspective
changed. I was able to go on, able to move forward.
Many of us are living with handicaps.
Some will change over time, but others won’t. If that’s the case, stop
waiting for your handicap to disappear. Instead, decide to live with it.
Work around it. Treat yourself with care, with gentleness. Allow
yourself to feel and experience all the limitations and emotions of your
present situation. Accept them. Let them be part of you, part of your
experience.
Despite living with a handicap,
go ahead and treat yourself to life.
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Thank you, Jennifer, for giving me a new healing perspective. xo
