Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Within reach... but untouchable...

Two nights ago I had a dream.
I cannot get it out of my head.

I was folding baby laundry and putting it away in a baby’s room. The only light was a small night light coming from the closet. Right behind me was a crib with a baby swaddled and asleep in it. I knew it was a girl. I knew she was mine. And I knew I couldn’t touch her.

I kept folding laundry and sneaking peeks at her over my shoulder but I couldn’t see past the blanket she was swaddled in. And when I would try to take a step towards her to take a closer look something would stop me... some kind of invisible shield and it would begin to snow.

Beautiful flakes would fall all around us.
In the bedroom.
Above the crib.

And I couldn’t see my baby girl because she was swaddled and I couldn’t see her face because the blanket was covering her face and I couldn’t get close enough to her crib because I was stopped every time by an invisible shield and it would begin to snow so I would just walk away and fold her tiny baby laundry and sneak peeks over my shoulder at my baby girl that I couldn’t see...

And when I would step towards her...
the snow would fall all around us.

And I couldn’t see her.
And I couldn’t touch her.

And it went on and on and on...

And I just continued to fold her tiny baby laundry...

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