I feel awful.
I run a day home and take care of 3
little kiddos. I have always been upfront with my families that arts and
crafts are not my strong suit but I have always made an effort around
holidays to make something special...
And I didn’t even stop to think once
in the past week that Mother’s Day was coming up. It didn’t even cross
my mind. Not even one little bit. Not even when one of my day home mamas
left today and gave me a big hug and wished me a Happy Mother’s Day! It
did not register that I hadn’t had the children make a thing until
5:07pm when the second to last kiddo went home.
Okay, so I did think about Mother’s
Day this week but it was in an
all-about-me-and-my-dreading-the-day-coming-and-hope-I-can-keep-it-together-for-my-husband-and-kiddos
kind of way.
So I did think of it but I was so
wrapped up in myself that I didn’t think of it from the perspective of
the kids in my care and how happy the kiddos would be to make something
special for their mommy. So sad.
I was discussing it with Andrew while
we made dinner and I started to tear up. I realized that I dropped the
ball and that I have over and over and over since Claire died.
If there is one thing everyone can count on from me this year it is this:
I WILL DROP THE BALL.
I will forget.
I will unintentionally ignore things.
I will remember too late.
And...
I will feel awful about it.
So awful.
So sorry.
