Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Waking up sad...

I woke up crying this morning.
There is nothing I want more than to go back to bed, curl up, and cry my eyes out. I am tired. I am grumpy. I am sad. So, so sad.

I want Claire back. I wish she was still growing in my belly. I would have been 24 weeks pregnant today. I would have been feeling her kick and tumble around. I would still be trying to guess if she were a boy or a girl, if she would look like Andrew or like me or a combo. If she would be born blonde like one brother or an unexplained curly black like the other (who’s hair is now blonde too!?)

Instead of gaining baby weight I am gaining “I don’t give a crap about anything” weight. Ugh. I know what needs to be done on that front, I just don’t have the energy or the will to get started again.

On the up side? ANTM finale tonight! This roller coaster has to have some highs, right?!

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