Friday, December 11, 2009

Comfort or torture...



I signed back into babycenter today.
I couldn’t help it.

I added Claire’s due date and then added that I was having a girl and her name. We have never found out the sex of our baby in the past so it was a strange feeling to add that info.

Well, it is all a bit strange, I know. However I find my mind slipping...

How many weeks since I lost her?
How many weeks would I be today?
What would be happening in utero this week?

Will this help my healing? I don’t know. But I need to hang on to everything to keep her here with me and I find it comforting to read as time is slipping away so quickly. It’s already been 10 weeks.

It makes me sad to know that she would start getting the hiccups this week... it was one of my favourite feelings in my prior pregnancies.

Nothing will make it easier however I hope that I am not making it harder on myself by doing this. There is no right or wrong. I’ve just got to figure out what works best for me right now... and this is it.
 
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