Random thoughts throughout today...

...the second anniversary of your Estimated Due Date...

~ Today, we should be having a birthday party for you. Whether you had been born on this date or within a couple of days on either side, it's Saturday and a good day for a party.

~ Thank you to my BLMs. I know you all get my feelings and my fears. 

It feels good to be understood.

~ You had the most perfect little hands. 

How I wish I could hold them again, my sweet baby girl.

~ Thank you to my little sister for reaching out. You are so good.

LYSMLS

March birthstone - aquamarine.

~ I wish I could have a few minutes alone to just think, really think.

~ Time to 'come clean' to a friend.

~ What went wrong?

~ I want to hold you again... if only for a moment. I want to see you and touch you and kiss you and etch you into my mind all over again. Time passes and I feel so far away from you. I have photos, I have memories, I have keepsakes but it's still so hard to picture you, your weight, your features. 

I want you back.

~ Tears, tears, tears...

~ It's a beautiful day and I wish you could be here to play in the snow with us. 

March birth flower - daffodil.

~ Thank you mom. I too wish you could have met and gotten to know Claire. I know how very much you love your grandchildren, she would have been a lucky little lady to grow up having you in her life... Smarties and all! ;)

~ A friend just posted pictures of her newborn baby girl next to her Li'l Peanut doll... the same one we have for you. I wish baby 'A' well as she has just been moved from intensive NICU to the intermediate care NICU.

~ Thank you for the reassuring phone call. xo

March's tree is the Weeping Willow.

~ Would you have gotten your daddy's thick hair? Would it be in pretty little pig tails today? Or would you still be bald just like Mommy was when she was 2?!

~ 2 years ago today I was due, I live every day missing you.

~ I hug your little sister and feel so much love and so much guilt... it's so unfair.

~ I am so thankful for family, and friends old and new... sounds so cliché... is there any other way of saying it to show how above and beyond and high and wide and far this thankfulness goes?

March 10th - Pices

~ Touching words: "You were so lucky to have been given each other; for you, a sweet little angel to forever love, and for her, a mommy who couldn't possibly love her more. A perfect match. Sending you wishes for a quiet moment of peace & happiness before you fall asleep tonight....xo"

~ I wish Daddy had not had to work today so we could have all gone out to Prelude Lake. It's our special family Claire place/hike/lookout point and it brings me a lot of comfort to be there on your special days. Next time...

~ If you had been born 10 days late, 

you and your Daddy would have shared a birth date. 

~ "You were a life made of our love." 

~ I wish you were here... every day it's the same wish.

~ I could go on and on and I am sure my head will until the wee hours...

~ Good night baby girl, mommy loves you.