I look and feel really old.
I look and feel really tired.
I see the sadness in my eyes.
The tears are there every second,
Just waiting to pour out.
I see the wrinkles.
Laugh lines?
Hardly.
I have aged so much this past year.
My mind is all over the place.
Not the organized filing cabinet
(I was once so proud of),
Just a messy desk full of piles that need sorting.
I feel weights pulling at my heart.
Dragging and tugging in every direction.
They are heavy and it hurts.
Too much heartache,
Too many tears.
Too much
confusion,
frustration,
aggravation,
stress,
anxiety.
I knew I had changed on the inside,
I didn’t realize though,
just how much I had changed on the outside.
One year is creeping up.
One year of grief.
One year of what ifs.
One year of yearning, needing.
One year of absolute and overwhelming sorrow.
Unfortunately my face cannot hide
what I truly feel inside.
