I miss sitting and reflecting and writing
but I feel like I am tapped out, so to speak,
on what to say about Claire.
I feel so far away from her and it hurts.
Just one day of that gut-wrenching agony that I had in the beginning...
that's what I want to feel.
It seems so wrong but I feel like it would make me feel closer to her.
"It hurts to not hurt so much."