Saturday, January 1, 2011

Worst way to wake up to a new year...


Awful dream. Awful. Awful. Awful.

I went to the hospital to deliver my baby. The room was dark and no one was around. I gave birth and I pulled the baby up to my tummy and checked... it was a boy... our Thomas. He looked up at me. He was alive. He didn’t make any noise at all. He was really, really long and very skinny and had bruises all over him. I didn’t know what to do or think and no one was around to help or offer any kind of support at all.

Next thing I knew I was at a friend’s house. There was a party going on. Thomas was in my arms wrapped in a blanket. He was very still and was still not making any noise at all but looking around and taking it all in. No one paid any attention to us. It was as if we were invisible. Then my baby boy starting throwing up. Pink foam, lots of pink foam. And no one did anything. And my baby started going limp in my arms. I screamed for help and people were all around but no one even looked in our direction. 

Then I woke up.

Awful dream. Awful. Awful. Awful.

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