Here are Cinco and I!
Notice the ornament at my chest level?
It’s Claire’s peanut from last year. She would have been 9 months old
had she arrived healthy and on time. She would have been crawling around
and trying to get her teeny hands all over the tree! Instead we honour
her with her very own ornament every year. It doesn’t seem like
enough... nothing ever will where she is concerned.
It’s hard... I am so happy to have a
growing babybelly but it’s painful to think of how things are as opposed
to how they should be. To want Claire here so badly makes me feel guilt
over Cinco being here and to be excited to be pregnant makes me feel
guilty for thinking about how this Christmas would have been with
Claire. Urgh.
Yes, I know... you’ve heard this all before.
I just can’t separate the issues in my head.
