Monday, September 30, 2013

...minute by minute...

...that is how today's date goes...
...I once again relive it all...
...one minute to the next...

"This love wasn't enough for us to survive
I swear, I swear, I swear I tried
You took the life right out of me
I'm so unlucky I can't breathe
You took the life right out of me
I'm longing for your heartbeat
Heartbeat, heartbeat"
~Beyoncé Knowles
 
Tomorrow is Claire's birthday however today is the day that we heard the words,

"I'm sorry, there is no heartbeat."

The day that forever changed my life.

The day I had to share my devastation with my family and friends, 
the day I went to the hospital to be induced, 
the day that seemed to last forever yet was over in the blink of an eye. 

The day that the waiting began,
that the grief began,
that the loneliness began,
that the overwhelming heartache began,
that the indescribable sadness began,

...when the beginning meant the end...

The one day that haunts me every year when
...I once again relive it all...
...one minute to the next... 

1 comment:

  1. Patti (grandmother/bucka)September 30, 2013 at 9:21 PM

    “Do not judge the bereaved mother.
    She comes in many forms.
    She is breathing, but she is dying.
    She may look young, but inside she has become ancient.
    She smiles, but her heart sobs.
    She walks, she talks, she cooks, she cleans, she works, she IS,
    but she IS NOT, all at once.
    She is here, but part of her is elsewhere for eternity.”

    Jaime, when I read this poem all I could think of was you. I know how much you hurt and I wish there was something I could say or do to help with the pain. I'm sure Claire is looking down on you guys and sending her love (through your "winks"). Please know how much your family and friends love you and how proud they are of you for starting the Face2Face group to help others with their grief and for sharing you story albeit so painful for you. Claire's little life was taken far too soon but you have made the memories of her live on! Love you xxxooo

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