Thirty posts in thirty days...

I have noticed over the last couple of days a “trend” in my BLM blogs... so I thought I would play along. I am a day behind already but I’ll catch up!

Angie from Still Life With Circles put together Thirty posts in thirty days to recognize October as Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month. To read more about how she came up with this idea and this list, please check out her blog.

Day 1 - a song that reminds you of your child, or one that you can't listen to anymore and why.

Day 2 - a movie that helped you get through the hard times, or one that jumps out at you after your loss.

Day 3 - a television program that helped you either get through hard times or that moves you.

Day 4 - your favourite book. has it changed since your loss?

Day 5 - your favourite quote.

Day 6 - twenty things that calm you.

Day 7 - a photo that makes you happy.

Day 8 - a photo that makes you angry/sad.

Day 9 - a photo you took since your loss.

Day 10 - a photo taken over 10 years ago of you and how it makes you feel seeing it now.

Day 11 - a photo of you recently and how it makes you feel seeing it now.

Day 12 - something you are OCD about.

Day 13 - a fictional book that is meaningful to you since your loss.

Day 14 - a non-fictional book that is meaningful to you since your loss.

Day 15 - what you like about your house.

Day 16 - a song that makes you cry (or nearly).

Day 17 - an art piece (drawing, sculpture, painting, etc) that moves you.

Day 18 - my wedding/future wedding/past wedding.

Day 19 - a talent of yours.

Day 20 - a hobby of yours and how it changed since your loss.

Day 21 - a recipe.

Day 22 - a website that has been meaningful since your loss.

Day 23 - a youtube video that makes you laugh.

Day 24 - where you live

Day 25 - your day, in great detail

Day 26 - your week, in great detail

Day 27 - your worst habit since your child's death.

Day 28 - what's in your handbag/purse

Day 29 - hopes, dreams, and plans for the next 365 days

Day 30 - a dream for the future 

If you are participating I would love to know! Please leave me a comment so that I can read along.

xo

Claire’s Birthday Celebration...

** To see our day in pictures click here! **

We packed up a picnic, birthday cupcakes included (princess white with peanut butter icing for our Li’l Peanut) and some balloons and once again headed out to Prelude Lake.

We decided while we were there to rename the Prelude Trail as Claire’s Trail! It is a place we have always loved to visit as a family and I feel as though our family is complete when we are there.

It was a beautiful day, warm enough with a slight breeze. The yellow and orange leaves were falling from the trees and the ground was covered in colour. The sky was clear and blue and the water was calm.

The boys each decorated their balloons and Molly sent a very sweet and heartfelt message for us to write up for her...  and I love love love what they drew and wrote. We have some pretty amazing kiddos, if I do say so myself! xo

The balloon release was a little more emotional than I thought it would be yet I held it together... I am not sure why I try to hold it together though. As strangely peaceful as the day was I feel as though I still need a release. I didn’t allow myself to break down. I shed a few little tears here and there but not in front of the family (for the most part).

I didn’t allow myself to look through Claire’s memory box. I need to. There is so much love and comfort in that box and sometimes I just need a little reminder of all of the kind words and tokens that our family and friends bestowed upon us in those first few days, weeks, months. There is even a whole lot of love and kindness from those who were, at the time, strangers who have become friends. I’ve said it a few times and I will continue to say it for the rest of my life how very grateful I am for every single word of support, encouragement and love that we received.

And once again, the messages through FB and email, the thoughtful and meaningful pictures sent, as well as the phone calls, flowers and cookies were truly appreciated. I am a lucky girl to be surrounded by so many caring and wonderful people. x <3 o

Baby Girl I wish you could have stuck around to see how much love surrounds us. We are, without a doubt, extremely fortunate. Thank you for an amazing year. Even though it has been the absolute saddest of my life, in so many ways it has brought me joy too. To be able to help others in ways I never thought I could. To put a smile on someone else’s face when I know all they want to do is cry. To comfort someone when they need it the most. To be there and to “get it”. And on the flip side to be able to open others’ eyes to pregnancy and infant loss.

There is still so much I want to do. Hopefully before your second birthday I can get a few of those ideas flowing and put the list I have in my head on paper and into motion... all in your honour.

I love you more today than I did yesterday and yet not as much as I will tomorrow, Claire.

I am one lucky mommy.

xo